bamfing | Siebzehn - [Action/Voice]

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Siebzehn - [Action/Voice]

[On the last night of the draft, Kurt took a major beating. For those who had been there, Kurt had become a flurry of teleportations, moving in and out of the enemies and becoming almost impossible to follow. He doesn't know how many he might have wounded or killed, but it had all been halted when he got stabbed with a near fatal wound. He doesn't even recall what happened after that. In fact, between that and the sickness, he only wakes up today in a bed in the medical center. When he tries to get up, he realizes that's not so much a good idea.

At the very least, he finds his journal next to him. So... he pulls that out to ask the inevitable question on his mind.]

I'm back in one piece. Sorry if I worried anyone, but I'm ahh... not even sure what happened.

... so, did we win?

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That's not how I remember it.

[But she's really in too much pain to argue about this, so she shifts back a little, trying to find a comfortable position on her side.]

[Yeah.... so she's not really in the mood to argue about it, even over something meaningless. He settles back into his bed again, twitching a bit at the discomfort in his own wings.]

Hungry? There's some pizza leftover that Mikage brought up.

[Pain tends to make Rogue not hungry.]

Nah. You can finish it up.

[...] So. You okay?

Edited 2011-06-17 23:27 (UTC)

I think I'll live.

[He's not sure if that's a good thing or not.]

I'm in better shape than you.

[Rogue scoffs.] That'll be the day.

[And she wasn't really talking about how he was doing physically, but it's not her way to push.]

[He ends up staring at the ceiling tiles. He kind of got the impression she meant more than physically. He's well enough to be able to sit up and talk, after all.

As for how he's doing otherwise...]

... I don't ever want to do that again, though.

Kurt... [She closes her eyes for a moment. She is so bad at this. What can she say? The feeling lessens with time until it sneaks out and jumps at you? You never really get out under the shadow of it?

That her only previous experience with deliberate killing before this was their mother only makes this more awkward.

They come back. But Kurt knows that.]

...do ya want ta tell me what happened out there?

[He's quiet a long time as he closes his eyes, then wraps his arm over his head so that it covers his eyes. Deep breath.]

... I killed them. I didn't want to, but...

[It was either they die... or people he cared about died.]

It happened anyway.

[She listens quietly, watching him with concern.

Anything else, she'd turn it into a competition. How many did you get?

She doesn't know what to say. Doesn't know if she should ask for details - How? What happened? - or if any kind of shared experience would help...]

...it was hard. Out there. There were so many of them.

[He knows there's nothing for her to say. Words won't fix what happened, he knows that. The Kurt that went into that battle isn't the same one that came back. He has blood on his hands now. He's a killer.

He wonders if David felt the same way, the first time he had to take a life...]

Yeah. I know... I didn't have a choice.

[He just wishes that made a difference.]

[..."I didn't have a choice"

That rings false to her. Of course he had a choice, just like she had a choice. They could kill or they could die. But they didn't volunteer for this. This wasn't their fight. They weren't soldiers. When it comes down to it, they were forced into that situation, and if anyone's responsible for this stain on their souls, the Malnosso are. So she doesn't contradict him. If that lets him feel better... good.

Rogue nods to herself and then bites her lip. Hard.] What you did out there an'... what... I've done. They're two different things, Kurt. Bein' a soldier... that's a different thing than bein' a murderer. Soldiers don't fight for themselves. I know it... doesn't feel right. An' what I did out there makes me sick. But it's not the same. Those weren't innocents out there.

It might not feel better... but it's true, an' you should remember that.

[She thinks about Greydon. She thinks about Mystique. He's still different. This was bad. But it wasn't the same, and she hopes he won't let it turn him into something he's not.]

[It doesn't exactly ring true to him. His power is the ability to escape anything. It's always been like that. He's always used it to protect himself, not to harm. He made the choice to use his power as a weapon. He wouldn't have died if he used it to escape. But Rogue? Mia? The others...?]

At least when we get home, we won't remember any of this. [... and that might just make it worth forgetting all the good things about Luceti.]

[That doesn't change anything for where they are now though, and Rogue's not sure holding on to the fact that they'll forget it is the best way of making it through this...

There's time, though. Time for the rest of that. She sighs.]

Yeah. But for now, maybe we should just get some rest.

Yeah... good idea.

[He relaxes a little, trying to forget what he can. Not an easy task, by any means. But he can try.]

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Siebzehn - [Action/Voice]

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