bamfing | Zweiundzwanzig - [Action/Voice]

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Zweiundzwanzig - [Action/Voice]

[When Kurt steps out of the tunnel today, he's relieved. It's kind of like being back home, if home was a place where you were at the mercy of scientists and bureaucrats and the subject of weird experiments. But it's got friends and family, so he's still relieved to be here. Not to mention having a sky over him again. It's kind of refreshing to actually be chilly! Although a little sore from two weeks of teleporting, he's content to make his way back home.

... where he'll find out Jubilee is gone. Not to mention that Melanie is still away. It's kind of a bummer on both count. But he keeps his chin high and remembers that he still has friends. Jubilee went back to the X-Men she belongs with, he's with the X-Men he belongs with, and he'll be ready the moment Melanie comes back.

After spending some time getting settled back into the X-House again, he goes out for the evening, looking for some fun to stimulate a Kurt who spent two weeks of fighting and boredom (and people staring at him like a freak). Good Spirits, Cloud Nine, and the Rec Center are all stops this evening for him. A successful mission completed deserves a little celebration, after all.

At some point, he pops open his journal to ask something he's been thinking about. From what he knows of Kotetsu and Pao-Lin's world, it almost seems to have 'mutants' like him. But unlike his world, they seem to have a better lot than mutants in his world do. After two weeks of being stared at like a freak, his own mutation is pretty heavy on his mind. Maybe other worlds are like this too?]

So a lot of us have powers, yeah? How many people were born with them... but only by accident? I don't mean like some kind of magical powers, but something totally random.

And... what do the people of your world think of that?

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[That's. Something he has heard before. It sounds so familiar. The rhetoric of a person who has lost faith in humanity and in himself. The hatred and anger that poisoned his mother, even into her final moments.]

... I've heard that before. Letting yourself cling to hate will just destroy you.

[...He knows that. There is no question of if it will happen, it already has happened. He used to be something like a whole person, but he started crumbling apart a long time ago and never stopped. You can't un-break something.]

Not everyone is able to leave hatred behind... When an injustice is committed, someone must be held responsible. Humans fear and loathe anything they perceive as different from themselves, and so they are to blame for the absence of equality in the world.

Maybe, but mutants aren't any better. We're all human.

[Just... in different stages.]

You would still identify with those who despise you?

[sounding more incredulous than anything else, because he did everything in his power to separate himself from humans and elves, to transform into something superior to both.]

Why not? We're not that different.

[For Kurt, he wants nothing more to be a part of the world. Fitting in isn't easy when you're blue.]

[Once upon a time, once upon a time... But he would be lying if he said he had no desire to be accepted, even now. It remains a deeply buried wish.]

No, but the world has never seen it that way. I have only been reminded of the truth at every turn of my life.

... I won't say it's easy. Back in my world, I can't even leave home without wearing a disguise. But the X-Men don't just wait for the world to accept us. We prove that we can do good. Eventually people will see that.

Do not assume I stood by and did nothing. I hated that we half-elves were treated no better than dirt, and my sister and I did more than anyone else to help the world. In return for our efforts, she was ruthlessly murdered. People's attitudes did not change in the least.

[Nothing changed, even though everything changed for him. His name may have been celebrated as that of a great hero, but who actually knew the lonely child standing behind that exalted title? The Mithos everyone honored was a hero, not a half-elf.]

[So he's a half-elf? That actually sounds familiar. He wonders if there's a connection to Raine there, perhaps. All the same, the story makes him wince, sympathetically.]

... I'm sorry. The people who did that were wrong.

Apologies don't change what happened.

...In response to your question, I do possess what you would call 'magical powers', and it was no accident. Those with Elven blood, even if it's diluted, will be granted the ability to wield magic.

However natural it may be, we are scorned by full-blooded Elves who deem us unworthy of their secrets. We are not welcome among humans either, who fear our Elven magic and longevity. We are brought into the world by both, yet wanted by neither.

[That does... sound like a pretty sucky situation. It's not unheard of mutants to go through the same thing with their parents, but he's always had his adoptive parents...]

What about your parents?

Fools who couldn't take responsibility for their actions and cared more about conforming to societal expectations.

[as far as he's concerned, he's never had 'parents'.]

... my real parents didn't seem that interested in me either.

[So that he can kind of identify with.]

And so you're left with nowhere to go. [He can't sustain the hard detached tone anymore; it sinks beneath a quiet sadness.]

No. A miller and his wife found me and raised me. They never once cared what I looked like or what I was. I was their son.

... [Not that long ago, he would have scoffed at the idea and thrown it under intense scrutiny. But now...it's frightening, how quickly his mind can conjure the image of a certain gentle smile. He isn't ready to dwell on that for too long, so he shifts the topic just slightly.]

...But most did care, right? They saw differences, and they feared it.

... yeah, they did. They didn't know who or what I am. All they saw was a monster... a demon. [They were lonely years for him.]

I don't understand how you can have any faith left in humans, after everything they must have put you through.

[The endurance of hope, the strength to pick himself up and try again...those were the first pieces to go when he fell apart.]

It's not easy. But I've seen what happens if you lose that faith. My own mother lost everything because she was blinded by her hate. How can I hate humans when mutants can be just as bad?

How can you not hate humans? I'd imagine that the mutants who do wrong act out of anger toward the injustice enacted on them. Can you honestly blame them? They might act out of hatred, but who hated whom first?

It doesn't matter who hated who first and where it started. It's where it stops that matters.

And what if it never stops? Do you earnestly believe you can change people's attitudes with a handful of good deeds? Your efforts will only go unappreciated.

Maybe I won't change the world, but I know I've helped people. And maybe one day they'll help others too. I do it because it's right, not because I want something back from it.

You say you want nothing back from it, but what is it that you wish for most deeply?

... honestly? To be able to do what I hear. To be able to walk into a city and not have to hide the way I look.

Zweiundzwanzig - [Action/Voice]

[voice - filtered] gasp, it's like he's talking to mithtique!

[voice - filtered] come to mama, kurt <3

[voice - filtered] /scream

[voice - filtered] don't be fresh with me, young man

[voice - filtered] my adopted mother loves me more...

[voice - filtered] ...that's probably true, yes....

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[voice - filtered] this is like an infomercial for becoming a hopeless emo loser

[voice - filtered] gawd mithos, just give up!!

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